it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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