So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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