I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
