no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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