Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
