yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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