she looked like the before picture.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
