I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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