Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
