I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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