Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
