And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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