In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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