Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
