it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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