Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What a dumb baby whore.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
