I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
