i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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