Dual....:-)
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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