Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
