Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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