But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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