I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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