i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
