i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
