Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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