remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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