Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
