lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
