So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
