theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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