i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
