I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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