We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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