He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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