I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Randomize
