The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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