just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
