you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
