So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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