is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
