Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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