i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
