dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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