i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
