All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
