This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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