You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize