Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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