Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
