you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
