Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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