so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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