??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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