somebody snuck up and got me drunk
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Damn victory sex feels great
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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