YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
