margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
