You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
