Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
